Misconception about motherhood by Corbin

Name: Corbin (Guan Mingyang)
Article title: Misconception about motherhood
Source of article: http://www.straitstimes.com/STForum/OnlineStory/STIStory_483469.html
Name of article writer: Julianna Neo (Madam)
Date of article: Jan 29, 2010

The original article:

Misconceptions about motherhood

THE subject of having more children in Singapore has come up again. I was a mother who contributed to the numbers last year and am proud and overjoyed to have done so. The government incentives are a welcome bonus for me, but they did not influence my decision to have children.

Quite simply, the decision or desire to have children comes from an inner feeling of having someone to love and care for, and subsequently gives a sense of fulfilment and joy.

This is why motherhood is such a precious role. Motherhood challenges in ways one never dreamed of, many of which are frustrating and demanding. Still, mothers carry on day after day, with deep love and affection for our little ones, and wanting only the best for them.

However, what is 'best' has changed over the years. These days, a typical child's necessities are a host of enrichment classes, from as young as when he starts to crawl.

I once spoke to a waitress about her decision to have children. She said she wanted to have them, but would have to get a better job to pay for their enrichment classes. After all, her neighbour's child was signed up for a string of them, and this would be the norm for any child. She concluded that children cost money, and as long as she did not have enough, she would remain childless.

It is sad when we allow these misconceptions to shape life's decisions. As a mother, I have come to realise that children do not need a lot. They do not need the latest fashion, they have yet to develop expensive taste in food, and they play with simple objects and use their imagination. Sometimes, we adults impose on our children what we think they need.

My daughter loves her toys and dressing up, but at the end of the day, she simply wants me. And as a stay-home mother, I am happy to spend these few precious years with her.

What children really need is love and attention. They want your eyes on them when they try a new dance step, your response when they ask a question, and for you to play with them. When we are busy making money to fulfil all we think they need, we miss the important truth of simply being there.

I remember reading about Mrs Lee Kuan Yew making an effort to be with her children during lunch and skipping evening functions so she could spend time at home. Obviously, her choice to do so has greatly impacted not only the lives of her children, but also that of the nation.

If government incentives do not spur people to have more children, we need to take a step back and ask ourselves why. Perhaps we need to change our mindsets and stop thinking children need to grow up as superhumans who excel at everything. Life and motherhood could be so much more enjoyable if we just slow down to look into the eyes of our little ones, engage in their innocent conversations and see the world from their view.

Julianna Neo (Madam)

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My Response:

Summary:

I REFFER to the letter 'misconceptions about motherhood' by Madam Julianna Neo. This letter is mainly to suggest that people should get rid of some misconceptions about motherhood. Nowadays, many people think that money is very important in raising a child, so they are unwilling to have their little ones until they get better jobs or have enough money. However, the author thinks the other way around. In her opinion, the only things children need are love and care instead of those kinds of unnecessary stuffs. Under these circumstances, she suggests that people should stay apart with these misconceptions and enjoy their lives with their lovely little ones.

Reflection

I agree with some of the author’s ideas, such as children need love and attention instead of money and luxurious lives. Indeed, giving his/her children the best life is the dream of every parent and money can really make children grow up with less worries and more happiness. However, these are just our points of view instead of the children’s. Usually, children are too young to think whether they live a good life or whether his/her cloths are beautiful. If you care about them and try your best to protect them, your children will also grow up happily. You can also enjoy the happiness brought by being a mother or father.

On the other hand, I think the author do not realize the main reasons why people do not want to have their own children. I think there are 2 reasons: Firstly, in recent years, the working and living competitions become increasingly more severe. Thus, people have to pay more attentions on themselves so that they do not have enough energy to care about their children, even though they really want to have one. Secondly, because people are always pursuing the high standard of living nowadays, they do not want to have children who may bother their own standard of life. All in all, I think this kind of situation may get even worse as the development of the society.